LOLERCOASTER

If I had to think of what took up most of my time in middle school, I think it would go something like this:

1. School
2. Sports, including but not limited to:
a.) Soccer (go Reeds Brook Rebels!)
b.) Four square (it took a long time for me to let this one go)
c.) Scooting (clearly I use "sports" loosely)
3. Reading only the most highly esteemed journalistic gems, including but not limited to:
a.) Tiger Beat
b.) BOP!
c.) ym
d.) J-14 (aka "Just for Teens")
4. Thinking up new screen names.


It is the latter on which I would most like to focus. I had a slew of screen names, all thought to have been entirely genius at the time of their creation. Let's go through them.


Kappakkr9
This was my first screen name. It was derived from all things soccer-related: "Kappa", my favorite soccer company, "kkr" being "kicker", and "9" being the number of my middle school idol, Mia Hamm.

Soccerrockerchik
Again, a soccer-related screen name, but this time with a bit more flair. Clearly I had discovered the "rocker" bands I held so closely to my heart around this time: Staind(they felt what I felt, man), Static-X (I liked them because Tyler Kirk liked them), Good Charlotte (whom I later saw in concert, thank God), Incubus, etc. As for the spelling of "chik", only 16 letters were allowed per screen name, and I had to make a sacrifice somewhere.

sWiPeRnOsWiPiNgL
A classic for sure. It was around this time that it suddenly became cool to watch shows marketed towards those younger than ourselves, namely Spongebob Squarepants and, as illustrated, Dora the Explorer. It was also around the time of the boom of writing like tHiS, of which I was a strong supporter. For those less educated in the art of Dora, Swiper was, if I remember correcgtly, a fox who always stole everybody's shit. And when he'd go to take something, Dora and friends would shout "SWIPER NO SWIPING! SWIPER NO SWIPING!" I capitalized on the catch phrase and Voila!, a screen name was born. It was supposed to be read "swiper no swipin' gl", as in ending with my initials, but I honestly just realized that it was probably always read "swiper no swiping l" with no apparent explanation for its final letter.

soccerplaya12367
Pretty self-explanatory. "12345" was unfortunately unavailable, so I compromised.

eLeCtRiCsLiDeRgL
I think this is probably my favorite. It was around this time that we had started learning a few dances in P.E., of which my most treasured was clearly the Electric Slide. I took great pride in my sliding abilities; I danced the advanced version with only 3 or 4 other "Electric Elitists" in my class. What better way to commemorate a new-found love than with a screen name? Again, written in the sTyLe oF tHe IM pRoS and ending with my initials (fortunately easier to decipher here than in the Dora-driven screen name of previous times).

heylookitsmysn
This came from my rebellious, "fuck it" stage of middle school, during which I discovered swearing and not paying for hot lunch. Blunt but slightly humorous, this is the screen name that has stuck, for two main reasons:
1. It's probably the least embarrassing.
2. After eighth grade, you really can't afford to change your screen name anymore. Buddy lists are already perfected by this point and no one cares/remembers to put in your new screen name. You're stuck with what you've got.


I think back now to the hours I used to spend on AIM, LOLing, searching for buddy icons, reading the profile of every single person online...and while I'm glad that I've left it all behind, there is a certain nostalgia to it that will always have a place in my heart.

TTYL LYLAS/LYLAB LOL